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學期結束前,剛好看到中大英語自學(按我)工作小組正在招募暑期英文寫作自我訓練(按我)。那時才發現,原來中大有那麼多的英語學習資源可以利用。於是,趁離校手續尚未辦完,學生證還沒繳回之前,跑去登記。這個英文寫作自我訓練並沒有老師會批改你寫的文章,而是靠一套My Access的批改系統,暑假一共會指定五個不同主題的寫作題目(涵蓋了三種文體:論說文、說明文、描述文),要在期限之內繳交 ...
重點是,每交一次作業,系統會馬上自動評分,而且列出修改建議。在期限截止之前,不限次數,可以重複一直投遞,直到你自己滿意為止。換句話說,就是藉著自己不斷修修改改的過程,系統引導自己提昇寫作能力。剛開始,抱著有點懷疑的心態,這套系統有這麼厲害,可以分析文意層次的內容,給予寫作上的建議?根據語文中心的說法,這套系統背後收集很多文章資料,給的雖然是內容獨立的建議,不過,大部分的學生反應還不錯。
第一次的題目是cell phones in school。花了一些時間寫下內容:
Cell Phones in School (ver1)
In recently years, cell phones have become a common and popular communication tool. Two reasons explain why cell phones become so popular—a more convenient way to communicate, and an easier way to maintain social relationship. Due to the characteristic of mobility, people can communicate with others through cell phones in anytime at anywhere. Therefore, cell phones are in widespread use in Taiwan. Almost everyone has one or more cell phones.
Although cell phones are convenient tools to help people work or build social relationships; however, it is a more complex issue whether students should have their cell phones in school, because it would involve different advantages and disadvantages. First, when every student has a cell phone in school, the cell phone could be a useful tool to facilitate their learning. For example, cell phones could guide students individually perform complex problem-solving tasks or collaboratively discuss a given topic with their peers through embedded software.
Furthermore, while students have their cell phones in school, it is also possible to disturb the classroom order. For instance, teachers might not keep their teaching quality in the classroom due to the sudden rings of students’ cell phones. In addition, students might talk to others by cell phones during the lecturing, and it is also harmful to other students’ learning quality.
Despite the advantages of cell phones in school would benefit students, the possible negative influence would be also harmful to their learning. Therefore, we should have several well-considered and clear rules for this issue before students are allowed to take their cell phones to schools. Then, we can maximum the positive influence and, at the same time, alleviate its negative influence.
投遞出去,結果 ,整體分數是4.5分(滿分6分):
* Focus: 4.4
* Content development: 4.0
* Organization: 4.0
* Learning style: 5.2
* Conventions: 4.8
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* Holistic score: 4.5
於是,根據系統給予的建議(包括:要有更明確的贊成或反對立場、開頭可以用反問來吸引讀者注意力、更多例子來支撐主題句的論述、避免太口語化的用詞或艱澀難懂的科技用語等),修完了就投,投完了再修,修修改改,改改修修,結果一整天都在寫作文,最後一共改了五個版本出來,最後這個版本得分是最高的:
Cell Phones in School (ver5)
Have you ever seen a classroom disorder in which students use cell phones talking or sending instant messages? This is the major problem that will arise when students are allowed to use cell phones in school. Although most people advocate the advantages of the use of cell phones in school, I suppose that the use of cell phones in school should follow several rules or norms to alleviate the possible negative influences.
Cell phones have become a common and popular communication tool in recently years because cell phones are convenient tools for communication. Due to the characteristic of mobility, people can communicate with others through cell phones in anytime at anywhere. Therefore, cell phones are in widespread use to build and maintain social relationships. Now, almost everyone has one or more cell phones in Taiwan.
Cell phones are convenient tools to help people work or build social relationships; however, it is a more complex issue whether students should have their cell phones in school because different propositions have different perspectives on considering the issue. One of major advantages of cell phones in school is—cell phones could be treated as a kind of powerful learning devices to help students' learning. For example, cell phones with embedded software could help students solve their mathematical problems, or discuss their peers for an assigned article. In other words, the functions provided by a cell phone are more than these provided by a calculator. With a cell phone, a student has a great deal of computing supports in learning. The student is not required to buy digital calculators anymore.
Nevertheless, when students have their cell phones in school use, they might disturb the classroom order. For instance, teachers might not keep their teaching quality in their classroom due to the sudden rings of students' cell phones. In addition, students might talk to their friends by cell phones during the classroom lecturing. These situations are harmful to students' classroom learning. If we do not pay attention to these terrible results, the disorder situations will damage our formal schooling in one day.
Consequently, despite the use of cell phones in school might bring some benefits, more and more negative results would damage students' learning if we lack related protections. In other words, we should formulate complementary norms before students are allowed to take their cell phones to schools. Only in such condition, we can maximum the advantages of cell phones in school; meanwhile, we can alleviate its possible negative influence.
整體分數是5.2分:
* Focus: 5.1
* Content development: 4.7
* Organization: 4.6
* Learning style: 5.8
* Conventions: 5.4
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* Holistic score: 5.2
最後實在改到沒力了,不得不停下來。這過程證明一件事:文章是需要透過不斷修改,才會越來越進步。
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